A really good night.

Well last night was my first night of going out and being sober the whole night and my I say it was the most fun I have had maybe even since being at school this year. I headed over to the Annex  around 8:30 or 9 and hung out with chris and kurt and a few others just kind of talking and chilling. Then rich and the rest of the guys showed up from whatever detication thing they were at and we all started to eat the tons of food rich had made. I did not really eat anything but bread and nan because everything else had meat in it but I was not that hungry so it was fine.

After they were done eating they started play that game were you write the name of a famous person on  card and then someone else sticks it to there forehead and they have to guess who it is. I was not playing because i don't really like that game so Chris and I went on a walk that ended up with us at the pub were I got an amazing grilled cheese that i ate with tomato soup (SO GOOD!!!). Then after Chris and I finished we walked a little more and headed back to the Annex. There were a few more people there now but they were all just shitting around not really doing anything. So some of us decided to play some beer pong but one of richs roommates did not want us to play in his room ( I think he was trying to hook up with his lady friend). So there was a little bit of drama but it was all cool and we ended up playing in Sages room.

Sage is really good a beer pong and he and I started as a team. We won every game of the night. We were unstoppable it was a lot of fun. The way we play beer pong over there is really chill and all the cups are filled with water( which to me makes a lot of sense so that you are not drinking whatever came off the ball that landed in the cup plus then you don't have to worry as much about getting sick from sharing cups... Its actually a really smart idea). So it was really easy for me not to make a big deal about not drinking b/c I just never garbed a beer and no one really noticed so that was nice. I think all in all Sage and I won maybe 13 or 14 games in a row! It was crazy. So after that died down and most of the other people left there was Sage, me, Chris, Louis and two foreign first year students one form japan and the other from the Philippians maybe?

Well they had both never smoked before and one of them really wanted to try b/c she said her parents had tried it in college and she really wanted to as well. It was kind of funny how excited she got when Chris and Louis started talking about going to smoke.

So she took one hit coughed a lot and sat the rest of the bowl out(I was there just to hang out and did not partake in smoking). It was almost 1 at this point I guess just for a time reference. So after that Chris and i decided to go on another walk and rich wanted to come along so we walked the two girls back to there dorm which was rebert. Not sure which floor though we did not ask. Rich kind of disappeared as I was waiting for Chris to say goodbye (He got one of their numbers lol). Chris and i then decided to walk into the student center to hit the bathroom and we heard someone playing piano up stairs and i bet Chris that it was rich so we check and low and behold it was lol. So we decided to walk some more and  Rich wanted to go back to the dorm but i was enjoying hanging out with Chris so he and I decided to go to walmart! I wanted some food stuff and a new video game so we grabbed my keys and went to the car. The car started great until i noticed that the head lights would not come on unless i held down the high-beam switch. So determined to go to Walmart i ended up holding down the high-beam switch the whole way there and back!

We got everything we need and picked up shampoo for Rich and on the way back I dropped Chris off at his dorm. It was a really nice car ride and Chris and I had some good talks so i was really happy about that. So basically I got back to my dorm around 2:30 ish and then basically went to bed. Overall it was a realyl good night and a ton of fun.

I hope all is well in your lives and I still love each of you! Dont you ever forget it.

Well....

Its been a weird we for me emotional. I have just been all over the place and on top of that i have gotten like zero work done. Its not like i have been doing anything either, just sitting around and i did get to the gym once.

Well anyway i think this blog would be easier to update if anything interesting ever happened in my life here at school but it really doesn't. I will keep you posted if it ever get exciting though.

Nothing new.

I have realized that I’m really happy with my life as it currently stands. I mean I never really do anything interesting and every weekday is the same thing of go to class and then sit alone and do work and it’s really just not good for me. I think if I spend more time in the library it will help but i really need to find something else to do with my life. Well that about sums up the past two days and about every weekday I have had this year. I’m getting out and going to New York City for the weekend so I hope that will help me gain some perspective.

 

I just want to feel like I have something to show for my time here or at least some memories to look back to other then spending all my time lonely and sad.

(Disclaimer: In a generally shitty mood so things may not seem to be as depressing as they appear!) Well at least that made me laugh a little.

Also i have a huge test tomorrow that I'm honestly not ready for and am really scared about.... so that's were the rest of night is going sadly.

Fail!!

Well I officially failed at updating the on a daily basses but maybe that b/c my life in generally not that interesting. Well the key notes are that I got a 4.0 on my first exam which was nice and I got a 3.2 on my logic quiz. Other then that I have some papers the write so not too bad. 

My parents are coming up this weekend and I’m a little excited to see them but at the same time I’m a little annoyed because there is a java show that I would really have liked to go to and a java party that I want to go to as well but I might still be able to make it to some of that if I plan it right. I will keep you posted on that one.

I have officially set today as the first day of my transformation into everything that I want to be and do this semester and so far it has been going great! I hung out with the guys and played ping pong and hung up and I’m getting work done and I’m just generally in a good mood and I also got eight hours of sleep last night! The only thing that I really want to do that I have not yet is get to the gym so that’s really my last goal for that day and I still have plenty of time to go but i just ate an hour ago so I’m going to wait a little while to go. 

Hmmmm that else. I might be going to Montréal over mid semester break with some people just for a night or two so that would be a ton of fun but first I have to get past a test next Monday that is worth 40 % of my grade in the class!!  I mean who the fuck does that it crazy. So I have got to study my ass of which I what I’m actually doing right now... or well at least supposed to be doing. 

Anyway that’s it for now I will do my best to keep on top of this.  I love everyone one of you. Never forget that! Especially If you ever need someone to talk to I’m here and I would love to talk even if you don’t really have anything to talk about. Hope you all have a great day and weekend. Talk to you soon!

Peace

Trees

The trees are starting to turn in the North Country and I really wish I could explain to you how beautiful some of them really are. I am currently wasting away my Friday afternoon sitting in the library trying to write a paper with little success but such is the story of my life and I try not to let it bother me. I have promised myself that I will not leave here until I finish it though so that's a least some motivation. 

Anyway back to the trees. The one I currently have my eyes on is a deep vibrant red at all its tips the gradually blend and fade into a soft yellow which fills out most of the tree. Hiding behind this yellow toward the trunk of the tree is that rich cheerful green that holding out as long as it came. This green gives the core of the tree a dark feel that’s very beautiful. Normally I think of light colors like the reds and the yellows emanating from the middle into darkness as most thing seem to do. However here the light is coming from the dark core and it seems almost counter intuitive. It kind of reminds me of light penetrating darkness in a slow-motion.  It’s truly beautiful.

My day has not been very exciting, it hardly ever is but at least I did get in a two hour nap. I have been very at peace with myself and my environment today and it feel very liberating. I have been under this heavy vial of work and deadlines. While all those things are still present in my life I have simply let go of them a little. Let me tell you this is the closest to being relaxed I have been all week. 

So another fun fact is that today is the start of family weekend so it is fun to see all the freshman leading their parents around the campus. I have already had several visitors over in my secluded corner of the library which is kind of fun and refreshing because they are always surprised to see one guy sitting alone in the farthest reaches of the library (As a side not the only reason I am all the way over here is the amazing view of the trees out of these windows). All of these visitors have been smiling parents who have enjoyed this brief moment of quality time with their children and it shows. It’s nice to see people bonding in such a way and it makes me think of my own family and loved ones. 

Now this is one of the places that my revised Buddhist attitude has affected me and I’m going to explain that a little. It can be said for certain that I miss my parents, friends and Josie. I have accepted this pain and sadness and done my best to let it go, freeing myself from its crushing sorrow. By acknowledging that those feelings exist and then letting them go I am able to go on enjoying my day to day life (not that day to day life is even that enjoyable but that’s another story lol). So it’s not that I have buried or repressed missing them its but that I have come to terms with it so I no longer  really feel that sadness associated with missing them. It’s actually quite liberating because I am free to miss them all I want be it brings me an odd sense of peace and bliss.

Well that’s my thoughts for today. I really have to get on this paper =( . I hope you all have a beautiful day and I love each of you.

My life as of yet

I don't have much time right now because I'm starving to death and have a ton of work to do but I just wanted to at least put something down. I figured I would start this to conical my average boring life and the random important or at the very least occasional interesting thoughts I have.
I am currently really into Asian philosophy mostly Buddhism but i am also learning about Daosim now as well and are using my understand of these to make myself an overall better person(or at least I hope). I do not subscribe to one specific set of beliefs and am in the process of building my own based on my understand of the religions i have come in contact with and my person beliefs system(basically I don't really label myself as anything, at least for the moment). I'm truly hoping to deepen my understand and practice of mediation and what I know and do already have help me calm my mind tremendously.
It is truly amazing what you can see happening within yourself if you just pay attention. Like while just writing this short blog I feel myself grasping at "I" (which is nonexistent) by trying to conceptualize who I am too you.
Well anyway its time for food. I love anyone and everyone that comes across this site and Josie if and when you come here I want you to know that you are currently snoring really really loudly but its really cute and i love you.