Trees

The trees are starting to turn in the North Country and I really wish I could explain to you how beautiful some of them really are. I am currently wasting away my Friday afternoon sitting in the library trying to write a paper with little success but such is the story of my life and I try not to let it bother me. I have promised myself that I will not leave here until I finish it though so that's a least some motivation. 

Anyway back to the trees. The one I currently have my eyes on is a deep vibrant red at all its tips the gradually blend and fade into a soft yellow which fills out most of the tree. Hiding behind this yellow toward the trunk of the tree is that rich cheerful green that holding out as long as it came. This green gives the core of the tree a dark feel that’s very beautiful. Normally I think of light colors like the reds and the yellows emanating from the middle into darkness as most thing seem to do. However here the light is coming from the dark core and it seems almost counter intuitive. It kind of reminds me of light penetrating darkness in a slow-motion.  It’s truly beautiful.

My day has not been very exciting, it hardly ever is but at least I did get in a two hour nap. I have been very at peace with myself and my environment today and it feel very liberating. I have been under this heavy vial of work and deadlines. While all those things are still present in my life I have simply let go of them a little. Let me tell you this is the closest to being relaxed I have been all week. 

So another fun fact is that today is the start of family weekend so it is fun to see all the freshman leading their parents around the campus. I have already had several visitors over in my secluded corner of the library which is kind of fun and refreshing because they are always surprised to see one guy sitting alone in the farthest reaches of the library (As a side not the only reason I am all the way over here is the amazing view of the trees out of these windows). All of these visitors have been smiling parents who have enjoyed this brief moment of quality time with their children and it shows. It’s nice to see people bonding in such a way and it makes me think of my own family and loved ones. 

Now this is one of the places that my revised Buddhist attitude has affected me and I’m going to explain that a little. It can be said for certain that I miss my parents, friends and Josie. I have accepted this pain and sadness and done my best to let it go, freeing myself from its crushing sorrow. By acknowledging that those feelings exist and then letting them go I am able to go on enjoying my day to day life (not that day to day life is even that enjoyable but that’s another story lol). So it’s not that I have buried or repressed missing them its but that I have come to terms with it so I no longer  really feel that sadness associated with missing them. It’s actually quite liberating because I am free to miss them all I want be it brings me an odd sense of peace and bliss.

Well that’s my thoughts for today. I really have to get on this paper =( . I hope you all have a beautiful day and I love each of you.